"

You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.

We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”

I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”

He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.

"

— Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals  (x)

YOU PRECIOUS. FUCKING. ANGEL.

(via flatbear)

(Source: fwips, via whitewolfwriter)

fallontonight:

Our friend John Oliver is stopping by tonight!

(Source: catbushandludicrous)

dukeofnachos:

kurosaki224:

happyhaunter:

steve and bucky are startled by a levitating knife

It’s been ten minutes why am I still laughing

"the future is so scary"

(Source: winter-s0ldier, via gabsygabs)

theonion:

Obama Spends Another Night Searching Behind White House Paintings For Safes

consulting-detective-with-a-box:

mirkwoodling:

when people dont like lord of the rings because the movies are ‘long’

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when people dont like lord of the rings because it  has ‘too much fighting’

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when people dont like lord of the rings

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people

image

Lord of the Rings

image

(via thetardisismyunicorn)

amandarandomz:

Jesus learns how to swim

(via saitama-sensei)

bloomin-eck:

efferescent:

remember when a girl from my school wore a dress the same color as the green screen at prom

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oh yes

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her date did too

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That is actually kind of awesome. 

(via msmustacheman)

(Source: drunkonstephen, via mocchhi)

aneternalscoutandabrownie:

bellecs:

This is literally a Tumblr classroom.

Bonus!

And:

(via johnvriska-loving)